The Girl Who Loved Sirius Black
by Individual-9086
Summary: Avalon has never known anything but misery and fear throughout her entire childhood. When she goes to Hogwarts for the first time she is given a choice. But will she follow in her mother's dark footsteps, or find her own way? Order Proof and Updated!
1. Chapter 1

The woman had sleek dark hair and shiny black shoes. She wore a fur coat and her earrings made little clinks when she walked. When she entered a room all eyes would turn to her. They saw her and were in awe of her majestic presence. She was one of the elite, both socially and intellectually.  
  
Her name was known throughout the modern wizarding world, for Camarese Mortira surrounded herself with those at the top of the social pyramid, and intimidated the rest.  
  
Most of the witches and wizards with whom she associated suspected that her loyalties lay on the dark side. But only a few of her friends and admirers knew how powerful she truly was. Even fewer knew the extent of her perversions and greed.  
  
In truth, only one other person knew how terrible Camarese Mortira was. Only one person lay awake at night listening to the sounds coming from the basement. Only one person knew just how deep the rabbit hole went.  
  
That person was Camarese's one and only daughter Avalon, the remnant of a one night affair which was better left forgotten. Her daughter's origins did not matter to Camarese, she lived by the theory that only results mattered. And she had a destiny mapped out for her daughter before she was born.  
  
Camarese had taught her daughter from a very young age that looks were very important. Never could Avalon leave the house without her hair and clothing perfect. Luckily, Avalon was a naturally pretty girl, for her mother pushed her beyond perfection.   
  
Childhood for Avalon, was not a happy time. During the day she was forced into the image of the perfect little girl. No matter how hard she tried, she was never pretty enough, or clean enough, or witty enough. Camarese refused to accept anything from her daughter besides perfection and she never complimented or encouraged her daughter. Camarese only told her the hard truths about what she was lacking and punished her for her weaknesses.   
  
In public Avalon was always a hit. All the other witches and wizards were in awe of this wonderful and well behaved little girl. In public Camarese was proud of her daughter and acted towards her with the kindness of the good-natured parent who they wanted her to see.  
  
When the people were gone it was a different story. Camarese physically and emotionally abused her daughter. Between mother and daughter there existed no love, only a sense of duty. It was Camarese's life ambition to make her daughter great. And to Avalon, her mother's way was the only way. Camarese never left such things to chance. She made sure that her daughter would follow in her footsteps.  
  
But nights at the Mortira Manor were the times that defined Avalon's childhood. When she was very young, she would wake up to the sounds of screams coming from the basement, sometimes she would hear the metallic screeching as well, but always there was laughter, cruel cold laughter which she knew belonged to her mother.  
  
The basement was the place where guests were never allowed to go. The basement was a place of mystery. Avalon had never ventured into the basement, until one fateful night.  
  
The five year old little girl had been lying awake in bed trying to make the fear go away. Her curiosity had been growing over the past few days and eventually it overtook her fear.  
  
That was the night that Avalon crept down to the forbidden staircase and ventured into the basement. The sight that met her there was one that would stain her memory forever.  
  
Camarese was standing in the dim light with her back turned to her daughter, whispering softly to some unseen person.  
  
Avalon huddled behind a corner and tried to make sense of the scene. Her mother was whispering to someone and Avalon could hear the sound of ragged breathing, coming in quick panicked breaths.  
  
A soft and frightened feminine voice cried out in something of a moan. Avalon knew that no such sound could come from her mother.  
  
"Now Amanda, you knew when you first asked me that you were not to tell. I trusted you, but you betrayed me. Now do you know what happens to traitors?"  
  
Avalon moved closer. She could now see a thin, young woman chained to a chair next to her mother. Beads of sweat were forming on the woman's brow.  
  
Camarese dragged one long fake nail across the woman's neck. "This is what happens to traitors!" She shouted with sudden vehemence. Camarese aimed her wand threateningly and shouted "Incisio!"  
  
Avalon gasped as deep incisions began to appear rapidly over the Amanda's body as Camarese moved her wand, controlling the spell. The woman cried out, and Avalon was suddenly sure that she was not more than a child herself. Amanda looked about sixteen, her body contorted with pain.  
  
Involuntarily, the five year old let out a cry of horror at this terrible sight. Camarese looked over at her daughter, a look of utter ecstasy upon her pale face. Avalon turned and began to run up the stairs, tears streaming down her face. Camarese turned away from her victim to grab her daughter by her collar.  
  
Avalon flinched at her mother's touch, her eyes opened wide watching the woman writhe in agony. Camarese laughed, "I thought you might be joining us sometime soon. It was only a matter of time after all before you came down. Remember this now Avalon dear, there is nothing in the world more precious than power. Someday you will be given great power and you must be ready for it. For now, you can will just watch."  
  
Camarese forced the small girl to stand in front of the suffering woman. When she let go, Avalon jerked away and attempted to sprint towards the stairs.  
  
"Not so fast! You came down here and now you have to stay!" Camarese lifted her wand and froze her daughter, positioning her in a spectator's position. "Avalon, I want you to meet little Amanda Black. Amanda, say hello to my daughter and the heir to my dark legacy!"  
  
Amanda murmured something uncomprehendable and Camarese hit her with a crucio spell. This one had no visible effects other than the fact that the woman looked like she was in excruciating pain. After a few long moments, Camarese stopped the spell and took the woman's chin in her hand. "Say hello to Avalon," she purred happily as the woman convulsed in fear and pain.  
  
"Hello Aff. . . lon" the woman cried out as forcefully as she could manage."  
  
Avalon watched all this with a kind of disgusted panic. She had never loved her mother, but never had she thought her capable of such cruelty. The fact that she was unable to move her body only added to her confusion. Her mother had used this spell on her before, to keep her whole body still, but she hated it every time. She was fully conscious of everything that went on while in this state, but unable to react in any way.  
  
She would remember this moment for the rest of her life. Never would she forget the night when she had ventured down to the basement, the night when her mother had tortured and killed Amanda Black. And another little boy, who slept miles away, not knowing that he would never see his mother again would never forget the morrow.  
  
After that, Camarese would often come in the middle of the night and pull her daughter from her bed to watch her various entertainments. Most of the time she would torture muggles, she hated nonmagic people, but sometimes she would bring in a witch or wizard who had betrayed her trust or offended her tastes.  
  
Camarese stopped using the freezing curse on Avalon after the third or fourth time, instead she began to use threats and more painful curses to keep her daughter from running away. "Someday Avalon, you will thank me for all I have done. This is for you Avalon. I am making you strong. The day will come when you will be as strong as liquid steel, you will know because it will be in your very skin. On that day you will have the chance to wield your power," she explained in the tone of a mother who knows what is best for her child.  
  
Eventually Avalon learned to control her tears and numb her face to the pain. But she always felt it in her heart, tearing away at all that she was. Avalon hated her mother at these times, and it became her life's ambition to never become a bit like her mother.  
  
Avalon's days were filled with aristocratic luxuries to no end, and also constant never-ending pressure to attain the unachievable. Nothing existed in Camarese's day life that was less that perfect, and her daughter could never be less than that.  
  
So Avalon learned to speak the psuedo-intellectual jargon that the elite socialites conversed in everyday. She learned to walk and dance elegantly and to hold her head up in pride. She learned to hide her emotions and to present and cold and beautiful face to the world. And at night, she learned to tolerate pain beyond reason.  
  
Her mother tortured her both physically and emotionally. Sometimes Camarese would inflict painful curses on her daughter to teach her how to endure agony or to punish her for any imperfection. Always, she would subject her to the emotional horror of knowing that she would someday be expected to torture and kill.  
  
Near the end of Avalon's seventh summer, a letter arrived from the Pre-Nocti Academy for Young Witches and Wizards. Her mother was proud. Nocti was one of the leading Dark Arts Academy and those who were excepted to Pre-Nocti were guaranteed acceptance to Nocti when they reached the acceptance age. Unlike most English schools for witchcraft, Nocti required a three year prerequisite before joining the school.  
  
Avalon accepted the notice without emotion, for her life was miserable no matter what changes occurred. She boarded the train on September first with her head held high and her face as cold and strong as her mother's. 


	2. Chapter 2

Any glimmering of hope that Avalon might have had about life at Pre-Nocti was vanquished within the first week. Avalon learned very quickly that she was not like the other kids. While her first few days were unpleasant, her social fate was sealed one afternoon when she emerged from class to find some of her classmates torturing a kitten.  
  
Several of the older students were leading the rest, poking and prodding the poor cat with their wands.  
  
"Crucio!" one of them cried, laughing merrily.  
  
In Avalon's head, a battle was going on. She could hear her mother, laughing as she killed Amanda Black. Camarese would expect her daughter to join in. But part of Avalon, a little corner which she had kept to herself for as long as she could remember wanted to start anew at this school and be the person her mother would never allow her to be.  
  
  
  
"Look at it's fur!" One of the older boys laughed sadistically, as he sent a volt of electricity into the animal. His eyes gleamed with a pleasure Avalon could never understand although she had seen it all of her life.  
  
The cat mewed pathetically and flopped limply onto the pavement. At that point something inside Avalon snapped.  
  
To the shock of the boys, she pushed her way to the center of the circle and pulled the kitten into the safety of her arms. "Leave her alone!" she shouted defensively.  
  
The boys laughed and after a moment, one stepped forward. He was the largest of the group and the toughest. She would soon learn his name was Terry.   
  
  
  
"And what are you gonna do little girl?" He asked mockingly as he stepped forward in a   
  
threatening manner, stroking his well trimmed hair cockily.  
  
Avalon stumbled backward out of necessity. Terry was invading her personal space and it was instinct that made her back up. She held the kitten closer to her body protectively.  
  
"Well maybe we can use you instead," he laughed and beckoned his cronies to move in.   
  
  
  
At that point they forgot their wands and resorted to physical violence. Avalon walked away half-an-hour later with a bloody noise and a lot of bruises, but she still had the kitten in tow. Her roommate teased her endlessly about the cat, but Avalon insisted on keeping it.  
  
Throughout her time at Pre-Nocti, the kitten proved to be her only friend. She named her Silver and was with her almost constantly.   
  
Avalon had always been a thin girl but she grew absolutely skinny after the first year at Pre-Nocti. She always saved half of her meals for Silver so she never really had enough to eat.  
  
Classes too, were miserable for Avalon. She picked up the magic easily enough, but it seemed that the majority of students were out to make her life miserable. Terry in particular had it in for her. There seemed to be no barriers in his mind about whether it was wrong to hit a girl.   
  
Avalon suffered weekly beatings and was often subject to various curses inflicted by various older students. Camarese would be appalled at how ragged her daughter looked. Black eyes, supernaturally inspired boils and other maladies often marred her once perfect appearance.  
  
She found fairly quickly that at Pre-Nocti teachers did not care about what other students did to her. The staff and students operated under the philosophy that the strong survive. The weak were of no consequence. It was not that Avalon was not talented, she just did not want to use her talents in the same ways as the other students, and was alienated because of it.  
  
Somehow Avalon made it through her first year at Pre-Nocti, but the prospect of returning to as Camarese did not make her feel any better.  
  
She brought Silver with her, hoping her mother would not object.  
  
On the train ride home Avalon sat with her cat, the other kids ignored her. Only Terry ventured over to her seat to deliver a few threats, that she only ignored.   
  
When she arrived at the station, her mother greeted her warmly, but once they were back at the Manor, she was scolded for her shabby appearance. Avalon had almost forgotten how badly she looked. Camarese was cold and aloof towards her daughter.  
  
"I did not bring you up to be a dirty little vagrant!" She chastised icily.  
  
To Avalon's relief, her mother did not ask about her cat. Avalon could endure the rest of Camarese's cruelty, as long as she still had Silver for company.  
  
A week into her summer, Avalon was brought to watch the nightly torture sessions. She had learned to endure them without expression long ago, but it still turned her stomach. When her mother would finally let her leave, Avalon would go into her room and hold Silver close, crying into her pillow.  
  
When the summer ended, Avalon was almost happy. At least at Pre-Nocti she could distance herself from the rest of the students, her mother knew her too well to allow any distance. At school she was not expected to always be perfect, or to hold her head high throughout the pain. At school she could settle for being the weak one, she didn't have to prove herself ruthless. Camarese was a different story, she could never accept imperfection from her daughter, and to her, weakness was the ultimate form of imperfection.  
  
Many children, were they in Avalon's position would respond by developing a cruel streak, as did most of the children at Pre-Nocti, where the teachers encouraged conflict. It was Avalon's cat Silver which kept her from going down that path. As long as she had Silver, she had a responsibility over the cat's life. She had something to take care of and to love through all the hard times. Silver kept her sane.  
  
Back at school, Terry was in his final year at the academy and was determined to make it worth his while. He was constantly coming up with new ways to torment Avalon, but she always managed to hold her head up in pride. Camarese had assured that Avalon would never admit defeat. It was Avalon's pride that enraged Terry so very much.  
  
However much he tormented her, she would just accept it, never resorting to violence or shame. Sometimes she would cry, but never ostentatiously, just out of pain. Avalon knew that her mother would hate her for the way she just accepted their torment. Camarese had taught her to withstand pain, but inadvertently she had made her daughter passive.  
  
Avalon survived by doting on Silver, he was the only good thing in her life.  
  
Graduation came, and Terry received his admission slip to Nocti Academy. He was not ready to leave, for he still had unfinished business. Terry could never move on without accomplishing what he had failed to do the past two years. He wanted to break Avalon.  
  
The thin pretty little girl with the straight dark hair and pale skin was his greatest adversary, for all that he did to her had little or no effect. It was on the last afternoon at Pre-Nocti, that Avalon's roommate Charlotte came to him.   
  
Avalon returned to her dorm after the night's meal, as usual, hiding a bit of food in her robes. She had to smuggle food in for Silver as pets were not allowed in Pre-Nocti.  
  
She opened the door to her room quickly, happy to finally be with Silver. Avalon opened the dish of food and set it on the floor. Oddly enough her cat did not come running like she usually did.  
  
"Silver," Avalon called.  
  
She found her a moment later, hanging from the rafters of her canopy bed by a string tied about her tail. A note was attached to the string, it read: "Dearest Avalon, I thought I would leave you something to remember me by, Terry."  
  
That was the moment that Avalon broke. That was the moment that she closed her heart to love. The only thing she had ever cared about had just been taken away from her, and she no longer wanted to live.   
  
The next morning Avalon boarded the train and that afternoon she greeted Camarese. This time she had taken time to do her hair and magically erase her bruises. She didn't want more confrontation. She would submit to her mother's wishes. 


	3. Chapter 3

"Sirius Black!" a woman's voice called, "Get down from here this instant before you fall and break your neck!"  
  
Sirius giggled and climbed higher in the tree until he was leaning on a very thin branch. He gasped as it waved dangerously, but steeled his nerves and clung to the branch, sticking his tongue out at his aunt.  
  
"That's it young man!" Victoria Tonks stormed up to the tree, her wand pointed dangerously at young Sirius. "Wingardium Leviosa!" she shouted.  
  
The little boy suddenly found himself floating midair above the branches of the gigantic Oak tree. Sirius screamed, as his aunt released her spell, sending him plummeting quickly to the ground, only to stop his fall a moment before impact and pluck him out of the sky.  
  
"I told you to finish your peas before you go outside to play! How will you ever grow up to be big and strong if you don't eat all your peas?" Victoria scolded.  
  
Sirius wiggled out of her grasp and ran into the kitchen, intent on hiding his peas before his grandmother had him trapped.  
  
He scooped his peas quickly into his napkin and rushed over to the trashcan. Just as Sirius opened the napkin to dump out the peas he felt a hand on his collar. Sirius tensed up and then turned around with a sigh as his aunt led him back to the table and watched him eat each and every pea before shooing him back outside to make mischief as far away from her furniture as possible. At that moment, Nymphadora flounced out into the kitchen cheerfully.  
  
Today her hair was a brilliant shade of orange, and her eyes matched. "Nymphadora!" Victoria screeched at Sirius's favorite cousin. "That is simply ridiculous! Change your appearance back to normal this instant!"  
  
Nymphadora sighed, and her hair changed back to brown slowly. The three year old made a face and pouted. Sirius stuck his tongue at Victoria playfully as she turned away, and motioned for his younger cousin to join him.  
  
Sirius loved staying with his aunt, although she was very strict. His cousin Nymphadora was the only remaining member of his family that Sirius loved. After his sister Amanda had died, Sirius had felt very alone in his family. If it wasn't for James and Nymphadora, he never would have gotten through it. Sirius couldn't remember his sister very well, but the things he did remember of her were wonderful. She had been the one to dote on him and protect him from his mother when she went into her fits of rage. Still, his Aunt's house was a welcome retreat, although he knew he could not stay away from the Black manor for long.  
  
His mother hated him, if it was possible, more than she had hated Amanda. Sirius was nothing like his good brother. He never listened to anything his mother said.  
  
Before the day was over, ten year old Sirius had managed to terrify the neighbor's dog, blow up the garden hose, burn down some small shrubs along the walkway, and dye Victoria's white picket fence orange. Victoria was impressed, "Thank you Sirius for not hurting anyone," she thanked him sarcastically. "As a reward, I'll let James come over tomorrow if his mother will let him."  
  
James Potter was Sirius's best friend. The two of them had been like brothers growing up. James lived down the street from Sirius, and from the first time they had met, they had been closer than anyone could imagine. Sirius's own brother was a different story. But James and Sirius spent every waking moment causing mischief together, not that either boy needed any help in that area.  
  
That night, Sirius even managed to go to bed on the second try.  
  
The next morning he awoke early, as Sirius tended to do and pestered his grandmother for six straight hours until James arrived. After that they were off. The two of them found a field nearby to explore, and were not retrieved for several hours when a neighbor called Victoria, complaining about excessive noise.   
  
Whenever anything went wrong in Victoria's neighborhood, people would automatically call up Victoria Black. Her nephew was almost always the cause of any trouble that ever came up.  
  
"You are so lying Sirius! You can't break a window with a rock. You have to use a baseball!" James yelled at the peak of one heated argument.  
  
"Wanna bet four-eyes!" Sirius screamed back in anger.   
  
  
  
The discussion was still going as Victoria escorted the two boys back to her house. "If I hear another word about breaking windows, you will both be spending the rest of the night in your room Sirius!" she finally intercepted.  
  
At three AM Sirius and James snuck downstairs, tiptoeing past Sirius's grandmother's room and down into the kitchen. The softly opened the door and crept outside, barely shutting the door behind them. After they were safely outside, the two boys broke into Indian war cries and dashed across the street to the old field.  
  
"Do it Sirius! I won't work I'm telling you!" James rolled his eyes beneath his glasses.  
  
Bravely, Sirius picked up a rock, the largest he could find, and lobbed it recklessly at the attic window belonging to Mr. Webb, the young and grumpy bachelor who lived down the street from Sirius.  
  
The rock missed its mark by about a mile.   
  
"See Siri! You can't break a window with a rock," James smiled triumphantly.  
  
"Oh yeah? Just watch, I'll break it and I'll break it good!" Sirius snarled before dashing up closer to the house. When he was standing in Mr. Webb's front lawn, Sirius lifted his arm and let his stone fly.   
  
This time it hit it's target and the window shattered quite well.   
  
But as the boys were about to find out the window was not Mr. Webb's attic window, it was in fact his bedroom window.  
  
Sirius and James discovered just how quickly they could run when the angry man stuck his head out the window and began screaming at the boys at the top of his lungs. Several flying objects which looked suspiciously lamp-like came hurtling out of the window along with Mr. Webb's voice, barely missing Sirius's retreating head.  
  
Needless to say, Victoria got wind of it quickly enough. James was sent home quite promptly and Sirius was shipped back to his mother, with the added torture of finding himself forced to do chores form Mr. Webb sporadically throughout the rest of the summer.  
  
To say that Mr. Webb was strict was an understatement. To say that he was a tyrant would be closer to the truth.  
  
Sirius dusted and vacuumed, he scrubbed and soaked, and he never could do enough to please the man. Sirius was used to doing chores the muggle way. Although his entire family were purebreds wizards and witches, Sirius could not let Mr. Webb in on the secret. Besides, his mother believed that it was good for a boy to do things the hard way. Sirius was not exactly the hardest little worker either.  
  
Even while he tried to be good, and work off his debt, he couldn't help getting in more trouble. Once he managed to clean the attic completely, but it was only a minute later that he tripped over a box of valuable vases and broke everyone of them, also scratching up his legs with the shards of broken glass.  
  
Sirius didn't cry like most nine year old boys were prone to. Instead he got angry and kicked the wall, and leaving quite a hole in it as well. At this point, Sirius's natural flight instinct kicked in and he ran down the stairs, getting blood from his legs all over the white carpet and right past Mr. Webb out the kitchen door.  
  
He got all the way down the street before he was caught and force to clean up the mess.  
  
Eventually, Mr. Webb gave up on Sirius and asked him to leave and never come back. "You are a walking disaster!" he had shouted upon their parting.  
  
Victoria, being socially conscious witch she was, reluctantly paid for the additional damage her nephew had caused. During Sirius's house work phase, he had managed to ruin Mr. Webb's priceless Belgian carpet, tear up his lawn, break yet another window, and bleed all over his white carpet.  
  
"Oh Sirius," Victoria would sigh, "what am I going to do with you?"  
  
His mother on the other hand knew just what to do with him. It was her firm belief that regular whippings did a growing boy good. 


	4. Chapter 4

When Avalon returned to Pre-Nocti, she was almost like a new girl. While she still remained impassive when met with threats from other students, but she began to devote herself full time into her studies. She grew quite proficient at every lesson thrown her way.  
  
The other students only hated her more, now that she shone above them academically. It was no time before she was at the top of her class, and the top of every other student's hit list.  
  
She was victim to countless pranks, incessant bullying, and cruel gossip. Avalon responded to nothing.   
  
Her change in appearance also drew a lot of interest. Avalon suddenly began to strive for the perfection her mother had always insisted upon. Never did she attend class without her hair and makeup perfect, and her clothing perfect. She perfected the art of covering the bruises and cuts inflicted by her classmates.  
  
But what nobody saw, was they way Avalon cried during the nights, and tried to remember the feel of her old kitten's soft coat. The other children saw her as a strange and unfeeling creature, and to outward appearances she was, but inside she was grieving.  
  
And as much as she tried to convince herself to forget, to stop feeling she could not stop the tears that came every night when she was safe in bed and the other children were busy with their own affairs.  
  
During her last year at Pre-Nocti, Avalon began to learn basic magic. The past two years, she had spent learning history of magic and mathematical principals. Only in the last year at Pre-Nocti did students begin to learn hands on material.  
  
She graduated with her class with full honors. Students did not receive letters of invitation to Nocti until the end of the summer, but Avalon did not doubt her letter would come. She was at the top of her class, although was still hated and ignored by her peers.  
  
Camarese attended her daughters graduation, and clapped with the rest of the parents, although she was not among those who shed a tear. Afterwards she congratulated her daughter and promised to reward her when they arrived at the Manor.  
  
A feeling of dread grew in young Avalon's stomach during the trip home. When she finally arrived her mother had a party in her honor. But Avalon knew this was not the reward her mother had in mind.  
  
It came during the night. Avalon was not surprised. She followed her mother down to the familiar and terrible basement without a word.  
  
In the basement, and tied to a post was a half naked muggle boy, who couldn't have been more than six years old. Inside, Avalon cried out in shock, but outside she did not react.  
  
"It has been a long year darling. You have grown so much. I think you are ready to get your first taste of power," Camarese spoke at last, after several long moments of silence. The elegant woman slid her hand inside her robes and withdrew a long curved knife with cruel notches engraved in the cold steel.  
  
Slowly revolving around to face her daughter, Camarese extended the knife. "It's for you darling. You may do what you wish with it."  
  
Stonily, Avalon accepted the implement of implied torture with a nod. She held it for a moment, caressing the feel of it's icy power with her fingertips. She held the world's balance in her hands. There was nothing she wanted less.  
  
Avalon swallowed a lump in her throat and approached the boy slowly.   
  
Tears streaked his dirty face and the boy pulled away in fear, crying loudly and calling out for his mother. Avalon studied him carefully, such a strange creature, so unlike herself. The boy reeked emotion and feeling, something Avalon had been taught to stifle.  
  
Camarese folded her arms, revealing her fake red fingernails. She grinned subtly, baring the hints of her pearly white teeth. They looked like fangs in the dim light.  
  
The boy screamed as Avalon raised the knife. The blade was inches from the boy's supple flesh. She moved closer, until the steel was against the little boy's throat.  
  
She could see the beads of sweat upon his forehead, and smell the rank stench of his fear. A trickle of dark liquid ran in a swift stream down one pant leg and a new odor filled the room. The power in Avalon's hand was too heavy to bear.  
  
In one swift movement, Avalon drew the knife away from his neck and sliced instead into the rope that bound him to the pole. She removed the ropes in less than a second. Just as the boy was about to run, she pressed one hand against his chest. This had to be done carefully.  
  
"Darling, the game is yours, but don't let him get away," Camarese warned calmly.  
  
"Don't worry mother. I just want a bit of a challenge."  
  
Avalon could see her mother's reflection through the metal pole, a grotesquely contorted grin met her eyes.  
  
Avalon leaned forward until her lips were almost against the boy's. "Run," she whispered in a tone that reminded her of her mother.  
  
She let go for three seconds, and then walked calmly up the stairs after the fleeing child.  
  
Camarese looked warily at her daughter, but decided to maintain her role as a spectator in her daughter's first kill.  
  
Avalon could hear her heart beat in her chest, it seemed to fill the room with it's panicked intensity. She reached the top of the stairs and saw the boy struggling with the doorknob.   
  
She walked towards him and the boy fell to the ground and reduced himself to helpless tears. Avalon opened the door. "Go! Run as far as you can and don't come back! Don't tell anyone about this and perhaps you'll live!"   
  
The boy didn't budge. Avalon could hear her mother's footsteps coming up the stairs. "Go!" Avalon hissed and shoved the boy out the door.   
  
He got over his shock at the sight of Camarese standing in the doorway. It took her less than a second to realize what had just happened. Her prey had been released.  
  
Avalon had just enough time to slam the door shut before her mother had a chance to stun the little boy with a spell. Instead the spell hit her.  
  
The poor girl spent the rest of the night in considerable pain. Avalon had been given power, and had failed miserably in her mothers eyes. Now it was her turn to feel pain.  
  
The knife was used on Avalon that night, along with other tortures. In the morning, her mother got rid of the scars and bleeding with a simple little spell, and ordered her daughter to prepare for brunch. Camarese had never been angrier at her daughter, and she was determined to make Avalon's summer a living hell. If nothing else, this night had only steeled her nerve. Camarese Mortira was determined to make her daughter fit into her perfect image.  
  
  
  
Avalon's eleventh summer was the worst one ever. During the day things went as they always had. There were parties and dinners and all the guests were in awe of Avalon's beauty and charm.  
  
During the night things were terrible. Camarese never again gave Avalon a chance to be the torturer. In fact, most of her mother's amusements were taken out on Avalon that summer. In Camarese's opinion, Avalon's failure to torture the little boy was only a sign of her weakness.   
  
One morning in August, two owls arrived. They came to Avalon's window, and she was surprised to see that they carried not one but two letters, both for her.  
  
Avalon had never received a letter in her life, aside from the invitation to Pre-Nocti.  
  
The first envelope was no surprise. It was from Nocti. Avalon sighed, but declined to open the envelope. She would bring it to Camarese over breakfast, it would certainly please Camarese more than Avalon.  
  
The second letter was in a pale purple envelope and bore a crest that was not familiar to Avalon. She considered bringing it along with the first to her mother, but some hidden curiosity prompted her to open it.  
  
Dear Avalon Mortira,  
  
I am pleased to announce that you have been accepted to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The term starts on September the first and enclosed are a list of supplies and one train ticket.  
  
Please send your owl to confirm if you shall be attending by the 20th of August. Thank you for your time!  
  
Sincerely,  
  
Headmaster Edwin Tarantella  
  
  
  
Avalon sighed wistfully. Hogwarts sounded like an opportunity for a fresh start. Unfortunately she knew her mother would never approve of her going to that school. Camarese would never let her daughter give up an Academy of the Dark Arts, to attend a school like Hogwarts.  
  
She was about to throw the letter in her wastebasket when something stayed her hand. Perhaps she could respond in secret. Her mother need never know.  
  
Slowly, Avalon unwadded the letter and re-read it, this time also reading the list of supplies. Taking a deep breath, Avalon folded the letter and slid it under her mattress. It was only a fantasy, she knew she could never go, but still. . .what harm could it do to save the letter?  
  
Trying to turn her mind back to the day's events, Avalon finished dressing herself and checked her image in the mirror before picking up the Nocti envelope and heading to the dining room to meet her mother for breakfast. It was almost eight o'clock and Camarese insisted on punctuality.  
  
  
  
Camarese was mildly pleased at the arrival of the envelope, but took the opportunity to lecture Avalon on the numerous ways in which she needed to improve.  
  
That night, after the guests had left, Avalon lay awake in her soft bed, waiting and wondering if her mother would come to her.  
  
Unconsciously, Avalon felt her hand slip under her mattress. Her fingers closed over the paper. She lay still for as long as she could, trying to restrain herself from withdrawing it from underneath her bed. The envelope only held trouble, but yet she wanted more than anything to open it up and read the contents again.  
  
After another half hour, she gave in and pulled out the envelope, hoping that Camarese would not take the moment to enter her room.  
  
Cautiously, she opened the envelope and traced the text with her fingers.  
  
In a moment's whim, she jumped from her bed and drew a clean sheet of paper from her desk.  
  
She scribbled a quick note telling of her attendance and signed it.  
  
Avalon snuck downstairs and hastily opened the door which led to the Mortira Owlery. Feeling her heart beat thudding against her rib cage, she slipped the letter into the claws of Alex, a rarely used owl, and opened a window to let him fly.  
  
"What are you doing?" a cold voice stopped her in her tracks.  
  
Avalon spun around, her appearance as calm and cool as ever. Years of her mother's abuse had taught her to contain her panic.  
  
"I'm mailing off my reply to Nocti," Avalon spoke almost passively.   
  
  
  
Camarese raised an eyebrow, "you know you are not allowed in my study."  
  
Avalon looked down. "I know, but I couldn't sleep and I kept thinking about Nocti. I can't wait to further my skill there. I want to be head of my class."  
  
After several minutes of staring down her daughter, Camarese turned on her heel and left the room.  
  
As soon as her mother was out of sight, Avalon ran upstairs to her mother's study, praying she wouldn't be caught. Luckily the door was unlocked. The letter was in plain sight on the desk.  
  
Breathing quickly, Avalon withdrew the letter, praying her mother would not choose this moment to intrude and tucked it into her shirt. She left the list of supplies and returned to her room.  
  
Avalon slipped the Nocti letter underneath the frame of her bed, along with her list of Hogwarts supplies. Then she lay on her bed and breathed in slowly, closing her eyes and not quite believing what she had just done. 


	5. Chapter 5

Remus Lupin sat alone in his room. It was the day before his first day at Hogwarts.  
  
He knew he should be excited. Dumbledore had come to his parents and given him special permission to attend Hogwarts Academy of Witchcraft and Wizardry.  
  
But all that he felt was afraid. Afraid that the other students would not like him, afraid that he would be alienated for what he was, but most of all afraid that he would hurt someone.  
  
Remus Lupin was not like the other students going to Hogwarts, for he had a secret. And this secret had cost him his childhood.  
  
The secret stemmed out of something that had happened to him at a very young age. His family did not talk about it, they called it "the accident." Though his parents were both very supportive, Remus knew that they were both a bit afraid of him.  
  
After "the accident" Remus was confined to the house. He never was exposed to strangers. He never had any friends.  
  
Up until the letter from Hogwarts arrived, he had been taught by a private tutor, who came to his house twice a week. Remus's parents constantly reminded him how lucky he was that the tutor had agreed to come at all, what with Remus's condition and all.  
  
Despite his constant state of confinement, Remus was not deprived of the finer things in life. He taught himself to play the piano and read many books that were considered very advanced for a child his age. But despite all this, he was not happy.  
  
A part of him was constantly yearning for someone to understand him. Ever since the accident, the only human beings he had seen on a regular basis were his parents and his tutor.  
  
The tutor was a dry elderly gentleman who was very interested in dull subjects such paleontology and didn't very much care for children. Needless to say, his presence was not a very great comfort to Remus.  
  
When Dumbledore had come to his house, and invited him to attend Hogwarts, Remus couldn't believe it. He wanted very badly to go, but somehow he doubted he would fit in.  
  
Remus knew perfectly well what an unusual boy he was.  
  
On September first, Camarese took her daughter to the London train station and saw her safely aboard train #313, on route to Nocti Academy.   
  
Avalon watched from the window to see her mother depart. Luckily, Camarese had places to be that evening and chose not to stick around to watch the train depart.   
  
After she retreated from sight, Avalon heard the train's whistle blow, signaling last call. She ran down the aisle and off the train. The Hogwarts train was scheduled to leave in two minutes.  
  
She dashed down the walkway, searching desperately for platform 9 ¾. To her horror there was none. There was a platform nine, and then right after it a ten.   
  
Biting her lip nervously, Avalon looked about her in panic. What would she do if she missed the train to Hogwarts? She couldn't call her mother. Camarese would not respond well if she found out her daughter was not even enrolled in Nocti, but was planning to go off to Hogwarts instead.  
  
Just as she was about to go into hysterics, Avalon noticed a boy toting an owl and several suitcases being ushered along by an old woman.  
  
"Hurry up, hurry up now Sirius!" The woman urged as hustled along. "If you miss the train I simply don't know what I'll do! If you hadn't forgotten your owl back at the house."  
  
Avalon watched them hopefully. Almost shamefully, she approached them. "Are you going to Hogwarts?"  
  
The old lady nodded and smiled. "Yes, this is Sirius, my grandson. This will be his first year at Hogwarts.  
  
Avalon smiled her fake little smile that she reserved for social situations. "I suppose you know how to get to platform 9 ¾."  
  
"Of course dear, it is right through that barrier there, between 9 and 10. Here, just watch Sirius do it first." She ruffled the boy's hair affectionately, and he groaned and patted it down.  
  
Sirius glared at his grandmother and walked up to the barrier at a casual pace. One second he was in plain view, but the next moment the boy blurred out of view.  
  
"You go next darling," the old lady urged.  
  
Avalon accepted politely, she was used to adults fawning over her. She knew that once she got on the train and there were no parents to force kindness on their children it would be just as bad as at Pre-Nocti. Avalon knew very well what lurked under people's polite faces. She had yet to meet a person who hadn't treated her badly. Avalon had been hurt so often that she automatically assumed that every person she met would hurt her if she gave them the chance.  
  
On the train, the atmosphere was not what Avalon had expected. Everywhere she looked, children were laughing.  
  
Avalon associated laughter with pain. People laughed when another person was in pain. That was the nature of people. At parties people would pretend to laugh and be witty, but the only things that made people really laugh seemed to be ones that caused other people to hurt.  
  
But the laughter on the train seemed completely natural and not forced. Yet Avalon did not see anyone in pain, anyone to laugh at. The children all seemed happy.  
  
Quietly and seriously, Avalon found an empty compartment and settled herself down in seat by the window. It was not long after she had sat down that the train began to move. She had arrived barely in the nick of time.  
  
"What am I doing here?" Avalon wondered out loud. She doubted that Hogwarts could be much different than Nocti, yet she had risked so much to come here.  
  
Several minutes later two boys rushed into the chamber, panting and out of breath. One of them she recognized as the boy from the platform.  
  
"I think we lost them James," Sirius panted.  
  
The other boy, whom Avalon assumed was James, ran his fingers through his very messy black hair and adjusted a pair of thick glasses. "Right then, I suppose it wasn't the smartest idea to slip that exploding powder into that girl's lemonade."  
  
Sirius turned, noticing Avalon for the first time. She shrunk back in her seat at his glance. His appearance reminded her of Terry. He had the same cold gray eyes and dark hair.  
  
"Oh, hello there. I didn't realize there was anyone in here." Sirius peeped out the curtains that separated the chamber from the adjoining one.  
  
Suddenly he jumped back and pulled close the blinds quickly.  
  
"James! Hide! I think she saw me!"  
  
James looked about in panic but Sirius ducked beneath the bench on which Avalon was sitting, hiding his face behind her legs.   
  
Just as the curtains were pulled open, James grabbed one of Avalon's suitcases and held it in front of his face.  
  
Avalon raised an eyebrow at the boy's pathetic attempt at hiding himself.  
  
A red headed girl with lemonade stains down the front of her shirt stood glowering in the doorway. "You!" she shouted at the boy.  
  
Avalon didn't understand why the boys seemed so frightened of the girl. She didn't seem like any kind of physical threat. Back at Pre-Nocti, if any of the boys had been annoyed or angered at a girl, they simply would have struck her or forced her to back off.  
  
The girl threw Avalon's suitcase to the floor and proceeded to scream insults in James's face for nearly ten minutes, all the while aiming a finger at his nose.  
  
"You are an immature, shameless, jerk! And I expect you will not last any time at all in Hogwarts! If you think you can pull stunts like that and not get expelled, well you are wrong! If you so much as come near me again I'll tell the headmaster on you and you will be expelled!" The girl finally turned and retreated in the direction she had come.  
  
James breathed a loud sigh and collapsed in a nearby bench and Sirius crawled out from beneath Avalon.  
  
Her confusion overcoming her fear Avalon decided to inquire, "Why didn't you just hit her? I mean, two against one, what could she do?"  
  
James laughed and Sirius looked at her oddly. "Why would we do that?" he asked.  
  
"You sure got told James!" Sirius laughed happily.  
  
"First day and all! Thank you so much my very best friend, for hiding under the bench while that whole thing happened. I can tell what a brave guy you are," James spoke in irritation.  
  
Yet somehow, Avalon knew that he was not truly angry at his friend. Something felt very strange about the way that these two were acting, the way that all the people she had met aboard the train were acting.  
  
Just then, a thin boy with deep brown eyes and floppy light brown hair came in leading a pudgy boy who seemed to be crying and wiping his eyes on his arm.  
  
"Hi, you guys haven't happened to have seen a rat have you? This is Peter, he just lost one," the thinner of the two boys introduced the crying one.  
  
James shook his head and Avalon shrugged. But Sirius raised one finger in the air and suddenly fell to the floor and slithered around underneath Avalon's bench once more.  
  
He mistakenly pulled against Avalon's skirt and she rolled her eyes and pulled her legs up onto the seat.  
  
A moment later Sirius emerged from under the seat holding a slightly ruffled, pathetic looking rat by it's tail.  
  
"Tarot!" Peter cried happily, grabbing his rat from Sirius's fingers. "Thank you!"  
  
Sirius shrugged and extended a hand, "No problem. My name's Sirius."  
  
The brown eyed boy introduced himself as Remus in a quiet voice while Peter collapsed on one of the seats, relieved to have recovered his precious pet. Avalon tried not to think about Silver.  
  
All of her life she had been forced to be around people who she couldn't stand, but somehow she wished these strange people would leave her alone with her thoughts. She did not understand them and their lighthearted attitudes. She kept waiting for their true colors to shine through.  
  
By the time the train stopped, Avalon had managed to kick all the boys out of her section long enough to change into her school robes. Luckily, Hogwarts supplies and uniforms had been very similar to those at Nocti. The only difference was, that Avalon was carrying many more gruesome potion supplies than what was needed for Hogwarts, and several Dark Arts books, that she planned to lose as soon as possible.  
  
When she excited the train, she was ushered, along with the rest of the first years off in a separate direction than the rest of the school. She had left her baggage on the train as instructed, she hoped it would all get to her room all right.  
  
The first years were escorted to a lake, and instructed to get into rickety boats, three students each. She found herself being placed with the red headed girl who had bombarded James on the train and one of her friends.  
  
Lily smiled at her and introduced her self and so did the other girl who turned out to be named Alice. Avalon smiled coldly and stated her name.  
  
Soon the two girls forgot about the sullen dark haired girl who didn't want to giggle and gossip and went off into their own little world of scandal and dreams.  
  
All of a sudden the fog cleared and Avalon got her first glimpse of Hogwarts.   
  
Pre Nocti had been a cold and aloof place, the actual building used to be a factory. Impersonal, and practical were two words used to describe the place.  
  
Avalon's first impression of Hogwarts was well, magical. A giant castle rose out of the gloom, lights from it's turrets reflecting in the calm lake. Avalon gasped and watched as the castle loomed closer and closer until the rickety boats were pulling up to the shore and she was being helped out of her boat.  
  
Inside, they were greeted by Albus Dumbledore, a Hogwarts Professor, who led them into the great hall to be sorted into their houses.   
  
All of the first years chattered nervously, scared of whatever strange ceremony that would determine what house they would join. Avalon felt no such worry. She had learned to repress her fear for so long that it was almost an alien emotion. No small task such as a sorting could evoke emotion from Avalon's statue like serenity.  
  
When she entered the hall, she saw a old worn black hat, sitting atop a rickety stool. Oddly enough all of the many students seemed to be focusing on the hat, as if expecting a rabbit to pop out unexpectedly.  
  
After all the students had entered, an elderly man stood in front of the students and began to speak, "Hello students. My name is Edwin Tarantela and I am your Headmaster here at Hogwarts. This year we will begin the year with the sorting ceremony, as usual. Without further ado, may I present, the sorting hat."  
  
Most of the older students stood and clapped and the hat began to sing. Avalon stared in amazement and confusion. The song was lighthearted and silly, all the things which had been taboo in Pre-Nocti.  
  
When it's song had finished, Albus Dumbledore began to call students' names off a piece of paper.  
  
First came Adelwacker, Ashley. A short pudgy blond girl waddled up to the stool and pulled the hat over her ears. After a moment the hat announced her as a Hufflepuff.  
  
Avalon stood calmly waiting for her turn. She took her dark hat off her head and began to fiddle with it. A few more names were called and then "Black, Sirius!" was shouted out.  
  
In surprise, Avalon dropped her hat and jumped about a foot in the air. She recovered quickly and retrieved her hat from the floor, embarrassed. After a moment she calmed down. The name Black always made her think of Amanda Black, the woman who she had seen killed as a child. Nonsense, she assured herself, there must be thousands of Blacks in the world, just because the two shared a name did not guarantee that they were related.  
  
Sirius shot her a funny look, and journeyed over to the stool confidently, plopping the worn hat onto his head.  
  
The cap had barely touched his hair when it called out "Gryffindor!"   
  
A loud cheer arose from a table which Avalon assumed must be Gryffindor. A large maroon and gold banner hung over the table.  
  
More students were called up and Avalon watched closely. The students who were put into Slytherin seemed to be those which Avalon was accustomed to. These were the unpleasant and sneaky ones who loved to see others writhing in pain. Avalon feared that this was where she belonged.  
  
She knew she didn't belong in Hufflepuff. Avalon was already to ambitious and perfect to belong to a house of such nothings. Ravenclaw she felt had potential. She had always been very bright and studious. Gryffindor puzzled her. The students put in Gryffindor all seemed very strange to her. The laughed and smiled and were friendly and happy. She knew that she could not belong to such a house.  
  
Sighing with resignation, she supposed she would be put in Slytherin. Oh well, at least she was not in Nocti. In Nocti all of the students were of the Dark sort, unhappy and cruel. Here at Hogwarts those students seemed to be the minority.  
  
The red head who had yelled at the boy on the train was made a Gryffindor and Avalon sighed again. She wondered what it would be like to be around people like that, people who took life so lightly.  
  
She watched as one by one the students were sorted. She recognized a boy named Severus whom she had known from Pre-Nocti. He had been one of the students who had been constantly picked on. She wondered what house he would be in.  
  
Remus Lupin was made a Gryffindor, then Alice Matthew was put into Ravenclaw. Finally Avalon's name was called out.  
  
She approached the stool bravely, her face devoid of any emotion. Stonily, she lifted the had and placed it on her head.  
  
  
  
When she had watched the other students, she had only heard the hat call out the house they were to be in, but when the hat was on her head, Avalon felt it sifting through her memories or thoughts.  
  
"Hmm, great ambition, you would do well in Slytherin," the hat mused. "Avalon sighed sadly, resigning herself to her destiny. "But you have shown great bravery, in choosing to come to Hogwarts, and that cannot be overlooked."  
  
Avalon felt her heart rising.  
  
"In Slytherin you would be among those who understand you. There you would fit in. But I do believe that you would do well in Gryffindor. For you have shown great strength. In Gryffindor however, there will be many obstacles to overcome. I will let you choose. Stay on the path on which you have been placed, and thrive easily, or choose the path for yourself and struggle. Either way you can be great. The potential is all here,"  
  
"Please Gryffindor," Avalon felt herself whispering, almost without thought.   
  
Then the hat yelled Gryffindor and cheers began to come from the maroon and gold table. Avalon did not smile, but got up off the stool ceremoniously, and placed the hat on it's seat before heading to hers.  
  
Avalon's fate had been decided. 


	6. Chapter 6

Almost immediately Avalon felt the difference between herself and the other Gryffindor students. At the feast, the other students laughed and smiled, joking and acting friendly towards each other. Even at the parties Avalon had attended as a child, she had never been so open and honest with people. She had learned how to be polite, but never how to be a friend.

A pretty girl sitting next to her introduced herself as Rosmerta. "I'm so happy I'm in Gryffindor! I would have died if I wasn't! Did you know you would be a Gryffindor? Its all so new and exciting to me!"

The girl turned to Avalon, expecting her to say something.

Avalon cleared her throat in embarrassment. Never had she met a girl like Rosmerta, who blurted out things better left unsaid. "I thought I'd be in Slytherin," she replied coldly.

Rosemerta's smile visibly faded and she seemed to be having difficulty thinking of something to say. Avalon spared her the trouble and turned back to her plate, refusing to make eye contact with the strange girl.

After the meal, Avalon sat silently, as she had been taught by Camarese at an early age, waiting to be spoken to. She was relieved when the prefects stood and ushered the students back to their dormitories. Several students including Lily Evans tried to speak to Avalon, but she pushed them away. Avalon disliked people intensely. She had never met a person who had been truly kind to her.

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Remus went to his dorm happily. For once in his life he felt accepted and happy. James and Sirius had immediately adopted him and Peter. Both of the boys were extremely hyper and seemed fascinated by quiet Remus, who liked to put in clever remarks which turned up unexpected in James and Sirius's impulsive conversations.

Remus sunk down into his four poster bed, sighing happily as Sirius and James conducted a mattress test, as they called it, by seeing who could jump the highest on their own beds without knocking their heads against the canopies.

Eventually Sirius got his foot tangled in the blankets and ended up ripping his canopy clear off and knocking over two lamps and an unsuspecting Peter. Grinning, Sirius took a bow and wriggled his eyebrows mysteriously. James laughed and flopped down onto his bed, Peter groaned and Remus smiled simply, happy to finally have somewhere where he belonged.

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The next day, the sun rose over Hogwarts, illuminating the turrets and towers of the castle, and Avalon watched her new classmates happily prepare for the day to come. Avalon herself did not share their joy. She could not understand these strange people and their friendly and their false mannerisms.

"Hello Avalon," Rosmerta said with a smile, not giving up on her.

Avalon looked at her strangely and then assumed her façade usually reserved for her mother's parties. "Hello, nice day isn't it?" Then Avalon turned quickly and headed downstairs without further comment, leaving Rosmerta standing behind staring baffled at the retreating girl's back.

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Sirius's first class of the day was Transfiguration with Ravenclaw. The professor was a thin young woman with her hair pulled back in a bun so tight that he worried it might be cutting off her circulation. She introduced herself as Professor McGonagall, and told the class that it was her first year teaching at Hogwarts.

In Sirius's opinion, admitting her lack of experience had been her fatal flaw. He could not let such a juvenile mistake go. Besides, he reasoned, the professor looked as if she could use a bit of loosening up. And Sirius considered himself the perfect person to undertake the task.

During lunch he explained this sentiment to James, Sirius and Peter and they reached an agreement. No corner of Hogwarts would go undiscovered. No professor would go unannoyed.

"We need a name for our group," James declared.

"How about the menaces?" Sirius suggested.

"The annoyers," suggested Peter.

"No… the Marauders!" Remus contributed.

It was agreed upon and the Marauders were officially born.


End file.
